Dating Advice for Christian Men
by Joseph Matthews

Blending the balance of our desires and beliefs is an ever-going process in our lives.

We all struggle as men with our faith and urges; however, we can learn how to fit these two qualities together, by learning new perspectives.

It is natural to want to stay true to what we believe in.  And for most Christian men, it is important that love occur within the boundaries of church.

One of those boundaries is that sex should only happen once married.

I don’t judge this tenant.  Some people choose to follow it.  I believe this is just as valid as the people who choose not to follow it.

Ancient cultures used to believe that when partaking in sex, a part of the other person’s soul would mingle with yours, and that you’d carry that person around with you for the rest of your life.

Keeping your virginity for your wife is a wise choice since this is true in some respects.

But this presents a unique challenge for those men out there who wish to stay true to their faith.

There are a few perspectives to consider when you wish to continue attracting women and then foster your relationship while awaiting the consummation of marriage.

Sex is important after all, since marriage to someone sexually incompatible is a difficult union for anyone.

These few outlooks are especially for men who face the challenge of mixing faith and romance.

1.  Clarify your beliefs

Our faith is meant to guide us through life.  Because of this, it is very important to be clear on what it is you believe.

We have ability to reason and think and we have free will. It is up to us to check out the options while deciding which path we may follow. You may embrace all the teachings of church or you may choose what you believe.

Your choice is your own; however, you must be clear of your belief and stand strong.

2.  Be aware that God has a plan for you.

Keep your faith that God has a plan for you and the woman you are meant to be with when the two of you are united.

Since you have free will, you have to take action while striving to take advantage of all opportunities presented to you. Remember, God can only do so much.

That means we must be proactive in finding the right woman for us.

Going out and meeting women, taking them on dates, getting to know them – this is not just stuff that happens.  We have to MAKE it happen.  And it is our actions which keep us on the path God has set out for us, because our actions are based on what we believe.

3.  Know that Virginity is not mystical or precious.

Sex is simply an act, whether virginity is in question or not. It comes naturally as does walking, talking and breathing. We do these things.

God meant for man to be fruitful and multiply.  We are meant to have sex.  It is one of God’s greatest gifts.  If we were not meant to have sex, He would not have made it pleasurable.

So to look at your virginity as something sacred is not helpful.  Virginity is meant to be lost – the real challenge is finding the right person to lose it to!

Sex of course is an aspect of spirituality. It is one in which you find the person who makes you feel alive, loved and completed. This is distinct from the sexual act, since it vibrates within a higher level of your soul.

Striving to achieve this type of closeness before marriage is most helpful in determining whether your physical aspects are in tune with a woman.

Do not be afraid to be intimate with women!  Kissing, hugging, touching – this is all fine.  But sharing your hopes and dreams, staring deep into her eyes and feeling her inner-most desires… that is where true intimacy stems from.

4.  Look at women as real people, and do not put them on a pedestal.

You might be tempted to place a woman on a pedestal when your faith places sex as so important.

Perhaps you consider her a goddess, a delicate flower, something you should cherish and treat special.

Keep in mind that in many ways men and women are alike. We all come from the same place. You should never put a woman on a pedestal simply because you find her sexually attractive. This is not the same as having respect for her.

It is easy to love an ideal.  But it is hard to love the reality.  The woman who gets awnry when she’s hungry, the woman who nags you about taking out the garbage, the woman who wakes up in the morning with bad breath – that is the reality.

Rather than idealizing a woman, you have to learn to love the reality of her. Sex is only one of her aspects, since as humans we share many of the same qualities.

You will develop a clearer perspective when you realize that as humans women are just like you in many ways; this helps you to determine if they fit into your life plan.

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